My fight with invisible illness and suicide

Did you know that September is National Suicide Prevention month and this week is National Suicide Prevention Week?

I’ve written about my own struggles with suicide before and why my tattoo is so important to me. You can read about it and the significance behind my breathe tattoo here.

I meant to share this information with you on Sunday and then again on Monday, but I couldn’t hit the publish button. You would think it would be easy to share since the words are already out there but there is such a stigma tied to suicide. People still share how it is so selfish and I didn’t feel right putting more words out there regarding voluntarily ending my life when so many others are dealing with the heartache of losing loved ones and all of their possessions.

The truth is that while I think about it, right now it isn’t in the forefront of my mind. Right now my health is improving and my reasons for being here are plenty. But we need to talk about it and not hushed tones after someone has taken their life or with an air of annoyance because an acquaintance has truthfully shared how they are feeling on a social network.

We NEED to talk about it. People are uneducated about mental health issues and many feel that a walk in the woods will help with depression better than going to a therapist and getting life saving medication. Thankfully we don’t tell asthmatics that they shouldn’t use their life saving medications to help keep their airways open and that we should just breathe in a better and more productive way. As an asthmatic I have to take many different medications to keep my lungs open and functioning. When you are seeing the rescue inhaler it is because I am having problems, you may not see the tightness in my chest or my labored breathing because I recognize the signs and treat the problem. Please don’t shun someone for taking medications for their depression, anxiety or any other mental health issue.

People don’t think of suicide as their first choice. When they are seriously considering suicide they have tried so many other things to bring that spark back into their life. They aren’t being selfish, they just see no other way out. Thankfully if you are feeling this way there is an inhaler of sorts you can use, you can call the Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Unlike your doctor who may tell you that everyone in life has stress or that things can’t be that bad, the Suicide Prevention Hotline has trained professionals to talk to you and to help you connect with local crisis centers.

The dialogue is there, we need to talk about this epidemic where one person is dying by suicide every 11.9 minutes in our country. In 2015 that resulted in over 11,000 preventable deaths.

I am worth it and so are you.

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  1. Brenda Neely says:

    Hey I just got out of the hospital.. I was there for 5 days for depression and anxiety. I would love to get together or even start a group that meets once a month just for coffee and talking.

  2. This is such an important topic! I don’t think there’s a person who hasn’t been touched by suicide in one way or another. Thank you for not being afraid to keep the conversation out there!

    • I was amazed by how many people privately reached out to me to share their experiences with suicide. We need to keep this topic in the forefront of the conversation.

  3. Yes you are worth it! We all are! I just wish that our brains told us this ALL. THE. TIME. Thank you for sharing this with us, and thank you for helping even one person who reads these words. <3

    • Thank you! Brains are crazy creatures, aren’t they? I’m pretty sure they don’t understand that they can’t survive without us and yet they tell us horrible things that make us not want to be here. I pray that I touch those that are fighting the fight and loved ones of those who are fighting or even lost their battle. It’s hard to talk about big things, but I know I have been called to help with the conversation. Thanks for being one of my cheerleaders. Love you girl!

I would love the chance to chat with you!