I’ve sat down three times to do my What I wore Wednesday post. The one that has two weeks of daily fashions in there, but I just can’t.
It just all seems so trivial and useless, even though I know it’s not.
Life is just zipping by with so much that needs to get done, but all I really want to do is curl up in my Father’s lap.
I have been praying a lot to my Father lately. I have poured out my soul to him, even though he knows all what is in it.
I have shed countless tears for others, as I feel helpless to help them in their situations.
Do they believe them when I tell them I am praying for them?
Do they feel it?
Is it wrong to wonder these things aloud or even in my heart.
I am sure that this funk will pass, it always does, but how far down the ladder it takes me is any one’s guess.
I cling tight to the rungs, splinters wedging in my hands and blisters forming on my palms.
I don’t want to give in, I don’t want to tumble down.
I want to be strong for my girls, provide the perfect house for my husband.
I know I can’t do that all of the time, that nothing is perfect, but those words sting my heart like the cold winter rain that is coming stings my face.
So I delve into His word and try to fill up my cup so that it is overflowing and try to remember that He is enough. He is all I need.
I try not to question this path that has been laid out for me, full of booby traps and well disguised holes.
I know that I am not alone. Whether it be with others who have these booby traps on their paths or knowing that He is always with me.
So now I pick up my devotional and I get back to the task of making my home a sanctuary and remember that mission statement I made for myself & my house.
“Our home is a place of peace and contentment. A place where we can relax & celebrate our life. A place that we can just be.”
“Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into this world and we cannot take anything out of this world. But if we have food & clothing, with these we will be content.”
1 Timothy 6:6-8
i believe it. i do.
(and I wanna see this mission statement)
It's never wrong to wonder. The fact that we can is what makes us so wonderfuly, infuriatingly, perfectly human.
(((hugs)))
Your prayers are important. Don't ever feel like they are for nothing. And what you're doing? Being a wife and mom? The #1 most important job on the planet.
That said? I totally get where you're coming from. I'm there often, my friend!
((Hugs))
I struggle with these feelings too, but know that our loving Father is there with you through it all. I love your mission statement, “a place of peace and contentment.” That's what I want to give my family too.