2011 September

It is well with my soul.

September 29, 2011 By Heather 8 Comments

So the last week has been full of ups and downs.

I was clinging to the ladder of life and then suddenly it was like the clouds opened up and the sun shone down on me and I felt better again.

I get an email that smacks me in the face and suddenly I feel like I am falling.

Then I read a post from a friend and I cry a lot during that one minute and forty nine seconds. I needed to hear that.

Then I google different words and a stumble upon a blog that I got lost in a long time ago. These words that she writes resonate with my soul. While she was here, throughout her trials, she chose Joy.

And then wherever I turn I keep hearing this version of one of my favorite hymns & as tears stream down my face I decide that whatever my fate is, it is well with my soul.

It Is Well with My Soul by subpop

I need to remember that even in the darkest of shadows that there is light on the other side. Sometimes I can see it and while I don’t know how long it will take before I get there, I will get there. And that is well with my soul.

Filed Under: life with depression

September 28, 2011 By Heather Leave a Comment

http://gitzengirl.blogspot.com/2011/08/5-minutes-unknown.html

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be
removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and
be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. Psalm 46:1-3

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Just Write

September 27, 2011 By Heather Leave a Comment

It is some sort of mom code to never put yourself first? Not that I am complaining, because I don’t mind that I take care of my girls and my husband and the puking dog. (Dear Barney I told you eating fish on the beach at the lake was a bad idea, please listen to me next time)

The girls get sick and I am making sure they have the right meds, getting them in with the doctor, keeping them hydrated.

The husband, who never gets sick but has issues with bad teeth, needs something I make sure that he has it available to him.

But when I need to go to the doctor I rationalize. I debate. I wonder if I need to go at all.

My best friend makes me make the appointment and I do. Of course I can’t get in right away and yet I make the appointment with full intention of cancelling it before it comes.

The Chicken is sick again. Her ears are on fire and her sinus feeling like a brick. I call her off of school and get her an appointment for this afternoon. While on the phone with the appointment line I secretly hope that I can get her in at the same time I need to be at a different appointment so I won’t feel so bad when I cancel. It’s as if my best friend called up the appointment line to let them know that I would be trying this trick and I get an appointment for The Chicken well after my appointment this morning.

My foot has been tingling and just not quite right for some time. I don’t cancel the appointment, I will go begrudingly so sure that everything will turn out alrigght

Filed Under: Uncategorized

A life filled with booby traps and splintery ladders

September 22, 2011 By Heather 4 Comments

I’ve sat down three times to do my What I wore Wednesday post. The one that has two weeks of daily fashions in there, but I just can’t.

It just all seems so trivial and useless, even though I know it’s not.

Life is just zipping by with so much that needs to get done, but all I really want to do is curl up in my Father’s lap.

I have been praying a lot to my Father lately. I have poured out my soul to him, even though he knows all what is in it.

I have shed countless tears for others, as I feel helpless to help them in their situations.

Do they believe them when I tell them I am praying for them?

Do they feel it?

Is it wrong to wonder these things aloud or even in my heart.

I am sure that this funk will pass, it always does, but how far down the ladder it takes me is any one’s guess.

I cling tight to the rungs, splinters wedging in my hands and blisters forming on my palms.

I don’t want to give in, I don’t want to tumble down.

I want to be strong for my girls, provide the perfect house for my husband.

I know I can’t do that all of the time, that nothing is perfect, but those words sting my heart like the cold winter rain that is coming stings my face.

So I delve into His word and try to fill up my cup so that it is overflowing and try to remember that He is enough. He is all I need.

I try not to question this path that has been laid out for me, full of booby traps and well disguised holes.

I know that I am not alone. Whether it be with others who have these booby traps on their paths or knowing that He is always with me.

So now I pick up my devotional and I get back to the task of making my home a sanctuary and remember that mission statement I made for myself & my house.

“Our home is a place of peace and contentment. A place where we can relax & celebrate our life. A place that we can just be.”

“Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into this world and we cannot take anything out of this world. But if we have food & clothing, with these we will be content.”
1 Timothy 6:6-8

Filed Under: depression, life with depression

Like sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives

September 20, 2011 By Heather 4 Comments

If I close my eyes I can hear her stories and I can feel the softness of the blanket contrasting the scratchiness of the grass surrounding it. The blanket that was situated in the middle of her backyard, the perfect balance of sun and shade.

It was peaceful back there, you would never know that there were cars zooming by in the front of the house on the street.

I chuckle as I remember how she would know exactly when I set a toe off of that blanket and she would holler and call me Heather Ann, she always did. No matter how sneaky I thought I was she would continue to watch her stories and with those eyes in the back of her head she would always remind me that if I wanted to remain outside I had to stay on the blanket.

I longed to run around the backyard. To touch all of Mrs. Love’s Cati that sat on the other side of the fence. To breathe in the smell that was a mixture of freshly cut grass, various blooming things from The Love’s house and the scent of Charlie that seemed to always flow out of her window.

Sometimes when Mrs. Love was outside and she would holler over and say, “Mildred, Heather Ann is going to help me water the plants,” and I would be released from my blanket confinement.

Not that blanket confinement was bad, it wasn’t. It was full of snacks and library books. Of laying on your back watching the clouds float by, swearing that that particular cloud looks just like Abe Lincoln. It was peace and contentment.

Yesterday I drove past that house on the very busy road and I longed to pull in the driveway and escape to that backyard on the blanket. A feeling of anxiety washed over me as I realized that there is so much on my plate, the list of things that I need to do is never ending.

I need to feel the softness of the blanket on my skin. To run my fingers along the grass. To escape to that place of peace and contentment.

To just be.

***

This post was written because a friend reminded me that another friend invited us to Just Write.

Join us

edited to add-after reading this friend’s post I was then sent to this friend (gee I think I have a think for cute accents when picking my friends) where I am sharing my awesome. Join us there too!

Filed Under: coping with everyday life, Just Write, remembering the memories

What I Wore Wednesday

September 7, 2011 By Heather 8 Comments

Dressing in cute clothes is not always something that I have done. I love cute and funky stuff and well sometimes, in days past, I have worried what others thought about what I wore. I tried to fit in and wear what all the other moms were wearing, but it never felt right. A few years ago I threw caution to the wind and embraced “my style.” Last year I decided to challenge myself and only wear dresses or skirt (you may remember my year without pants)

Thanks to Lisa who directed me to Lindsey and What I Wore Wednesday, I decided to share with you my style. I am also sharing where I get the stuff from, because 90% of my wardrobe is 2nd hand. Most days I pay more for my under garments than I do for my whole outfit. I hope you have as much fun learning about me and what I love as I do putting my outfits together. And please, do play along.

Monday

I had my daughter straighten my hair today, I think its fun!
Sweater is Merona brand, bought at a yard sale with tags on for 25 cents
Belt is from Goodwill and I paid $1 for it
Skirt is without a tag but I got it at Salvation Army for 50 cents on Half off Wednesdays
Necklace is from Premiere Designs that I got free for having a party
Shoes are from Toms, paid full price for those
Total Cost of Outfit without shoes $1.75, with shoes $55.75

Tuesday

I love this dress, I wore it a lot in the summer and it is heavy enough to transition into fall as well.
Dress is from Target, bought new at Goodwill for 5.99
Cami is from ModBod when they were having some super sale at Costco years ago
Cardigan is from Target where I scored it off the clearance rack for 4.97
Belt is from New York & Company, its leather and I got it at Goodwill for 3.00
Necklace is a gift from a friend
Moccasins are by Minnetonka and I got them off Zappos (most of my shoes are new because they are rather large and hard to find newer shoes 2nd hand)
Total Cost of outfit $13.96 without shoes. With shoes approximately $46.96

Wednesday

I have been dreaming of wearing these boots all summer long!!
Shirt length dress is from Forever 21 off the clearance rack for $6
Belt came with the dress
Skinny Jeans Sweetheart Skinny jeans from Old Navy. I did splurge because I was ill equipped for fall weather last week in NY state and paid 22.50 for them, but since I don’t typically wear jeans because I can’t find any to fit and these do….well it’s a good investment.
Necklace is much longer but shortened in the back with a rubber band and I scored it a Goodwill for $2
Boots are from Target, they are all leather and I got them on Clearance last January for $9
Total cost of outfit without shoes $30.50. With shoes 39.50

Also linking up at Momma Go Round, a new blog find through What I Wore Wednesday. Yay, new friends!!

Filed Under: a day in my life, link ups, what I wore wednesday

Groan along with me as it’s yet another first day of school post

September 6, 2011 By Heather 2 Comments

It seems like just yesterday we were posing for the first time in our new front yard so that The Chicken could start the 2nd grade. I mean it was loads of fun as we may not have technically owned the house yet and so the neighbors might have stared at us as we were taking pictures in the house in which we wouldn’t legally take possession of for the next 21 days, but whatever, I needed that picture in front of the house in which my girls would be living at the rest of their school career.

There have been many pictures since then and some years (*cough* last year *cough*) in which I totally forgot to take a photo at all. They have always been in that same spot more or less and it cracks me up because through gritted teeth they always tell me to take the photo already because people are staring at them.

She was confident this morning. In her new school clothes that fit with the whole new ‘Campus Wear’ thing they are doing. (Which means they can’t wear jeans or t-shirts but they don’t have uniforms either. I know…fun, right)

I hope that when she bounds through that door at 2:30 she will be happy with her classes and her lunch table assignment. I also hope that she comes home at 2:30 as The Chicken has been known to make the four block walk home last nearly an hour. (Why yes I did nearly lose my mind, especially when she didn’t answer her cell phone because she forgot to turn it on.)

So here’s to a year in which she has fun, adheres to the new dress code, and always remembers to turn on her phone when she leaves the school.

Dress- H & M

Filed Under: first day of school, The Chicken

Squeezing in some fun in the last of the summertime while wearing a dress

September 3, 2011 By Heather 4 Comments

When your husband works six days a week and you have two teenagers on the go, getting some fun, quality family time in isn’t always easy. The husband gets two weeks of vacations a year, but when you are working six out of the seven days in a week, it’s nice to schedule yourself some extra “weekends” here and there. It doesn’t leave time for any big vacations.

So when Cedar Point asked my family if they would like to come and visit the park for the day, I jumped on it.

I have to admit for something that is pretty much in my backyard, I knew very little about it. Like the fact that Cedar Point has been around since 1870 and the road that we take to get to the park wasn’t even there until 1914. Up until 1914 you had to take a ferry to get there and it cost you 25 cents. My grandparents would talk about the ballrooms and beaches and how it was the happening place back in the day. If they saw it now, I am sure they wouldn’t recognize it. Heck, I barely recognize it as the park that I went to as kid.

My husband went to the park much more than I did as a kid. Each year they would play hookie after opening day in May and their dad would take them to the park. Combined with the fact that Giggles has a season pass, we had two built in tour guides that may or may not of butted heads when it came to where we needed to go next in the park and exactly how to get there.

Our day started out with the Sky Ride, gondolas that travel from one end of the Midway to the other end. We got to get a game plan going for the day, wave to other gondola riders, and miss out on the running full force to the back of the park like my husband insisted we do so we could get to the rides in the back before anyone else.

The weather was perfect and the crowds were moderate. The most we waited for any ride was about 15 minutes(which isn’t always typical) and that is only because we were waiting for the front car. (which is well worth the wait for most rides according to a roller coaster expert that we chatted with for a bit that came to Cedar Point all the way from the West Coast)

While we didn’t chose to eat our meals in the park, I was very happy to learn that they have an extensive overview of each restaurant in the park, so you can see just what you can get where and while they don’t have special menus with those with food allergies/special needs there is this page on their website you can check out.

Our meals were consumed in the picnic area just outside of the entrance to the park. Here you will find an abundance of picnic tables to eat your meal on, along with many charcoal grills in which you can opt to grill something up (charcoal not provided). After lunch you can let your kids feed the many birds hanging around the picnic area scraps of stuff that you didn’t eat. Please note that while seagulls will take Twizzlers from you, they won’t eat them and will just squawk at you while tossing this useless piece of candy around in the air.

Mid day we stopped to have some fun in the arcade with one of the largest pinball machines I have ever seen. In fact, I don’t think I have ever seen so many “old school” pin ball machines in one place ever. With most of them being 25 cents a game and Hercules (the masssive pinball machine) only being 50 cents, we had fun playing a game or two after taking some photos in the photo booth.

While we didn’t get to ride every single ride in the park (hello Windseeker and Top Thrill Dragster) we rode almost all of them. have to admit that I did miss The Demon Drop and still don’t understand why they had to take it away, but if it were there we probably would have never finished off our day watching the fireworks while on The Giant Wheel, one of the largest ferris wheels in North America. I was disappointed because one of it’s claims is how many lights it has on it and Cedar Point declares it a must see at night. While it was beautiful, many people were commenting about how many lights were out on it.

At the end of the day we had a wonderful time and were very happy to do something with our teenagers that they both really enjoyed. There is talk of hopefully getting Season Passes for Christmas and The Husband is hankering to get there to see Halloweekends for the first time in our lives.

Disclosure-Cedar Point provided passes for my family to enjoy the park for the day. No other compensation was given. The opinions expressed here are my own. Oh and I wore my dress all day long and had no incidents of flashing anyone, at all. I think.